不知道拿破仑病了
杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格，学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗？上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”
“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
Napoleon Was Ill
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
"He’s a good boy," said Jack’s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I’m sure he’ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."
"No, no, that’s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn’t know!"
"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack’s father. "You see, I’m afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
你造成的饥荒
在旅馆大厅里，一个非常瘦的人遇到了一个非常胖的人。
胖子说：“看你的样子，可能有过饥荒。”
“是的，”瘦子回答说，“看你的样子，饥荒可能是你造成的。”
Fat Man and Thin Man
A very thin man met a very fat man in the hotel lobby.
"From your looks," said the fat man, "there might have been a famine."
"Yes," was the reply, "and from your looks, you might have caused it."
拳击和赛跑
丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”
朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？”
丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑的。”
Boxing and Running
Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight."
Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."
Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."
吃醋的妻子
从前有个妻子醋劲很大。一天晚上丈夫回家，她没有从他衣服上找到头发，于是大叫：“好啊，现在你开始和秃头的女人骗我了！”
第二天晚上，她没有从丈夫衣服上闻到香水味，于是又大叫：“她不但是个秃头，而且很穷酸，连香水都不买。”
A Jealous Wife
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn’t find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him," Great, so now you’re cheating on me with a bald woman!"
The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She’s not only bald, but she’s too cheap to buy any perfume!"
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